I wish everyone were single, just as I am. Yet each person has a special gift from God, of one kind or another. … I am saying this for your benefit, not to place restrictions on you. I want you to do whatever will help you serve the Lord best, with as few distractions as possible. 1 Corinthians 7:7, 35b NLT
When we read the Bible, it is critical to make sure we understand context, what was going on at the time it was given, and if the writer is speaking from personal opinion or direction from God. When Paul wrote this letter to the Corinthians, he was addressing relational issues from the perspective of a pastor, church planter, and a satisfied single man. Paul wrote at least four letters to them (many would be consistent with his love and responsibility for them), and this one was after his first letter, the one we call 1 Corinthians (1 Corinthians 5:9). He planted the church and lived there for a year and a half and then continued as their “father in the faith” from afar. They became a church at conflict, in a culture war. They lived in a very pagan Roman city, and he wrote them a letter addressing the issues they were creating. They wrote back, pushing hard on him and asking questions. This letter is answering those questions and explaining the way Jesus-followers should relate appropriately in the current circumstances surrounding them. He was calling them as Jesus-followers to live a higher standard of love.
Along with many other relational situations, Paul directly addresses singleness boldly and clearly. Singleness is not a punishment, nor a problem to be solved. That’s a powerful perspective from a man who found his great satisfaction in living his life as a single man, magnificently used by God. Paul says he has been able to do so many things he could not do as a married man. He is so satisfied with his life of usefulness that he truly wishes everyone could be single like him. He does frankly say this is not a command from the Lord; it’s his preference.
Paul makes me smile, because the population of believers would die out if everyone accepted his choice. The Shakers in early American history accepted this as from God and died away quickly. We all tend to give our own choice highest value. But it’s so good that he shared. Our Christian culture tends to make marriage the ultimate way to live, and that is not true, either. As Paul says, we should choose the life that will lead us to serve the Lord best. Throughout this letter he emphasizes that our relational failures are ALWAYS due to our failure to obey the one command of Jesus – to love one another as Jesus has loved us. Married or single, that love looks like this:
Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 NLT
This love always works. It never fails.
- Jesus, whatever my state in life, help my life be what serves others in love like Your love.