Grown-up Love

October 12, 2018

When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child. But when I grew up, I put away childish things. 1 Corinthians 13:11 NLT

Kids are kids, right? You don’t punish a child for being a child. An infant gets a 100% pass for spitting up on you. As time passes, he gets more and more control over his body, and unless he is ill, by the time he is three years old or so, you expect him to have control and maintain control of these “involuntary” actions. By that time, you surely expect there will be no intentional choice to spit on you, no matter how irritated and upset he is. You expect him to have put away that kind of childish response to anyone who aggravates, angers, or disappoints him. You expect him to have learned that this response if not funny or acceptable. Growing up, maturing, is not just evidenced by size and height. It is primarily seen by the emotional choices and behavior of the person.

God tells us clearly that this is true relationally and spiritually. Growth and maturity do not come simply by the passing of time. It happens primarily by a deliberate choice to “put away” the behaviors, coping mechanisms, and manipulations of infancy. God expects me to choose maturity. The success of my relationship with Him and the people He has put into my life absolutely depends on it.

How do you know if you are behaving like a child? Truth is, children don’t immediately recognize their behavior as childish. It’s “just the way they are.” If you find yourself explaining yourself with that tired line, “It’s just the way I am,” there’s your sign. If someone who loves you and knows you well comments, “You’re being such a baby” or “You’re childish,” trust them. Check it out. If you hear, “You never change,” or a weary statement, “You are just like your mother/father,” and you know it’s not a compliment, slow down and consider what is really being said. Chances are, God’s trying to give you a clue that will matter more than you know in your growth and development.

Next time someone says, “Come on, man, grow up,” try not to be insulted. Take the challenge. Your future self will thank you.

• Is there a gap between your chronological age and your emotional, spiritual, or relational age? If so, it is impacting your relationship. Make a covenant with God to get all the help you need to catch up. Start today.