When I Feel Ashamed

March 8, 2021

Those who look to him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame. Psalm 34:5 NIV

Shame is a sinister, destructive thing, but everyone feels shame from time to time. It’s part of the human condition. There’s a significant difference we need to understand that will help us. There is a legitimate reason to feel ashamed when we have mistreated others, done wrong, or behaved badly. This is a sense of shame that arises from true guilt. Then there is a shame that is not about true guilt at all. It is a sense of unworthiness or wrongness that comes from feelings, not actual truth.

Being appropriately ashamed is recognizing guilt. GUILT is GOOD. It comes from GOD. God allows us to experience guilt that is His gift, pointing us to grace and forgiveness. A person can tell if his/her feeling is coming from God because when we understand that we are truly guilty and we recognize we have a God who loves us completely and will forgive us, we feel hopeful and motivated to restore relationships. We don’t feel hopelessness.

SHAME is SINISTER. It comes from SATAN. Shame makes us feel hopelessly broken and unworthy. We feel like we are inadequate, inferior, and inherently wrong. No matter what we do, we can’t seem to fix ourselves. We strive and strive. But nothing is ever enough.

Whether you suffer from appropriate guilt or destructive shame, the solution is the same. You must turn your attention away from yourself to God. If you are ashamed and guilty, you acknowledge your sin, you ask forgiveness from the God who loves you more than you can imagine, and He will immediately and completely forgive you. If you sinned against someone and hurt them, you ask God to help you have the courage to apologize, ask forgiveness from that person, and do whatever you can to make the situation right. David was right when he said that your face will be radiant! Nothing can give you a glow like forgiveness.

If you experience the inappropriate shame that comes from a perpetual sense of unworthiness and inability, if you feel like you are a continual disappointment to God and are in a race with the rest of the human race to try to be significant and matter, again you turn your attention to God. Focus on your identity—who you are in Him. You are His forgiven, dearly loved, especially created child. You matter immeasurably just as you are. You don’t have to earn it. It’s already an established and forever fact.

• If you are struggling with identity issues and feel shame, copy this and read it every day. Let the truth of your worth and identity transform you.