Words and Actions

May 10, 2023

Even children are known by the way they act, whether their conduct is pure, and whether it is right. Ears to hear and eyes to see—both are gifts from the LORD. Proverbs 20:11-12 NLT

I love a good story, but I’ll choose a true story over fiction anytime I can get it. Fiction proliferates like dandelions in the spring, however. Social media has fertilized fiction in massive quantities. Instagram and Facebook carry some of the most entertaining pretend stories out there. Here’s what I mean. I will see a woman’s posting (it’s almost always a woman—sorry, ladies) shredding her husband and children for all the work they leave for her to do, his thoughtlessness, and she has HAD IT. Not unusual for other women to enter the fray and trash- talk their husbands as well. OR maybe she will skip social media and come to me for counseling where she dumps her resentments out in full. I will say, “This is not a cause for divorce, but a reason to get counseling,” and then I don’t hear from her again.

UNTIL. Yes, until… Until a new edition comes out on social media. It is their wedding anniversary, and she says something like this: “I can’t believe it! Fifteen years with the love of my life! We have had our moments, but I couldn’t love you more and I would do it again in a second. I love you to the moon and back—the world’s best hubby!” Then there’s a picture of her and her husband and their angelic/demonic children, depending on the day. If I was her husband, which story would I believe?

Then, guys, if you SAY to your wife that you love her so much you would do anything for her—fight off an attacker, give her the world—but she asks for you to please put your own laundry away, and days later it’s still in a pile, you know she’ll cave. She carries it to the room and puts it away herself. Again. What does she believe? The romantic words you say or the inaction in regard to her simple request? Figure it out. It shows up later.

Again, Solomon tells us that this is not complicated. You can tell who even a child really is by the way he or she acts. The way a person conducts, manages, handles himself/herself is the most accurate autobiography you will find.

God has given us eyes to see and ears to hear. We KNOW what to do. The question is, will we have the wisdom and discipline to do it? You spouse is thinking, “Your actions/inactions speak so loudly I can’t hear what you say.” If you want to speak to be heard, start here.

• God, I don’t want to communicate fiction with my words when my actions are telling a different story. Challenge me, convict me, and give me courage to be a person of integrity.