This, Not That

May 11, 2023

Do not let unwholesome [foul, profane, worthless, vulgar] words ever come out of your mouth, but only such speech as is good for building up others, according to the need and the occasion, so that it will be a blessing to those who hear [you speak]. Ephesians 4:29 AMP

Paul’s letter to the Ephesians is so direct and helpful. Peter once said that some of Paul’s statements were difficult and hard to understand. He couldn’t have been speaking of his letter to the Ephesians because Paul’s message here is extremely direct and clear. If you can’t understand his directives and comments on relationships in Ephesians, it must be because you don’t want to understand. Have you ever been there? 😊

This one verse is packed with wisdom that, conscientiously and consistently applied, will change the communication of any relationship, even if only one person in the relationship picks up the challenge at the start.

Do not let unwholesome [foul, profane, worthless, vulgar] words ever come out of your mouth. You know what constitutes unwholesome food for your body. Of course, you don’t want to put anything in your body that is clearly poisonous, but it’s bigger than that. You don’t want just food, food that isn’t clearly awful but will eventually harm your body. No worthless calories. The same is true of the words that come OUT of our mouths for other people to consume—don’t spew poison, but don’t just say worthless, empty things either.

Do not…ever. Not ever means never. You don’t get a pass when you’re tired, angry, or caught off guard with different people. NEVER. When you’re away from your spouse, speak well of him/her always.

Only what is good for building up others. Encouraging, hopeful, wise, kind, true. What other adjective can you add that describes “building up” words?

According to the need and the occasion. Everything we think doesn’t need said. Everything that needs said may not need said right then. This is one of the many reasons we need to walk with the Spirit and run our words and decisions by Him. The RIGHT words are only right when the timing and setting is right.

Be a blessing to those who hear you speak. Paul urges us to speak in such a way that when we are done, everyone is glad they heard us. That applies most especially to our spouses. We want to be their most consistent speaker of hope and blessing.

• I will make a conscious decision to monitor my communication so when I am heard, my spouse with be blessed.