Quality, Not Quantity

March 19, 2025

There are “friends” who destroy each other, but a real friend sticks closer than a brother. Proverbs 18:24 NLT

Are you on social media? If so, chances are you have many more “friends” than you have real friendships. All they have to do to be a “friend” is send a request, have you confirm it, and there you go. Friends! The only thing you will even know about each other is the curated character you display on your postings, the carefully selected or even filtered pictures, and the highlight reels of your life. Unless, of course, one of you is one of those who occasionally emotionally spills way too much personal info during a crisis. But you will likely never come to the other’s aid in trouble or know more than the very surface issues of life. You will never deeply celebrate or empathize. Why? There’s superficial contact, not a true connection, certainly not a commitment. Should you ever get close to your limit of “friends” or find another person to be annoying, you can “unfriend,” “unfollow,” or “block” whomever you choose with little fanfare.

However, in real life it’s different. The truth is, you can get involved in a shallow way with people that lulls you into thinking you have relationships you do not. It’s the quality of your relationships that count, not the quantity. Excessive socializing can keep you from having truly deep relationships. You can be so busy networking, contacting, and making acquaintances that you never invest the time, energy, and effort it takes to cultivate the deep, satisfying intimacy of a good friend or a good marriage.

It’s not wrong to have a lot of acquaintances, but they can keep you so busy that you don’t have time, energy, or maybe won’t even sense the need to develop vital, close relationships. This is especially true of the younger ones among us who often have grown up with more exposure to relationships by device than by face-to-face encounters. You don’t need a big group of friends to make it in this world, but you do need a few good ones. Ones that lift you, stretch you, grow you, know you. Your acquaintances – your hundreds of Facebook “friends” and Instagram followers – aren’t going to be there when you need them. They don’t have the ability to be, even if they wanted to. But the people with whom you are truly connected and committed, and they are deeply committed to you, will be there and will give you what love requires.

Every important relationship is marked by commitment. No relationship will grow beyond shallow and superficial without commitment at the core.

• Destruction or development flow from commitment or lack of it. Ask God to help you be honest and intentional about your commitments in relationship.