The Way I Want to Be Trusted

May 26, 2025

Do to others as you would like them to do to you. Luke 6:31 NLT

“Hmmpf. I’ll believe that when I see it,” I immediately thought. He had promised me at least three times to do that one little chore, yet it never seemed to get to the top of his list. “If it were important to him, you can be sure he’d get it done. That shows you just how much he cares about what is important to me. I’ll just figure out a way to do it myself.” I stewed and muttered as I judged him and found him guilty of neglect, selfishness, and extreme untrustworthiness.

My mood deteriorated the longer I thought about it. It wasn’t helping me or our relationship. God spoke to me. To be fair, both of us were having a hard time keeping up with our good intentions. We were both in full-time ministry. We had three children, ages 4, 8, and 12. They were highly active in church groups, in school, and the two older in sports. Charlie was a great dad. On top of his responsibilities as lead pastor in a growing and active community church, our conference leadership had tapped him to try to be the interim supervisor for a church that had split. Yet he still coached baseball for our son. He had remembered our anniversary with a tender card and the promise of a date that weekend. Well, you get the picture, and I did too. In a short time of honest reflection, God showed me that I had been filling the gap between what I hoped would happen and what did happen with frustration, resentment, cynicism, and suspicion. He urged me to treat Charlie as I wanted to be treated – with understanding and trust that he was honestly doing the best he could. He directed my thoughts to the many things Charlie DID get done. He pointed out that my “chore” yet undone was not a life or death, end-of-the world matter. And most of all, I was unfairly judging his motives and what was in his heart. I would be crushed if I knew he thought that way of me on the too-frequent times I am sure I created a gap between his expectations and what he received.

That marked a turning point for me. I had not realized how the busyness and demands of our season of life had affected my heart. I have not been perfect since then, but God is quick to show me when this hypocrisy in the way I think about others and the way I expect them to think about me begins to poke out its ugly little head. I often reflect on how difficult life would be if God “fact-checked” my own record for the many times I have failed Him. Failed Him over and over in exactly the same way. Yet every time I repent, ask forgiveness, and promise to do better, He doesn’t give me even a scent of the “SHOW ME. I’ll-believe-it-when-I-see-it” attitude. He gladly forgives me and walks with me hopefully.

I have an amazing King. He wants me to love others, and He loves me. He wants me to treat them as I myself want to be treated. Doing that is a gift of joy that ricochets back into my own life.

• Jesus, help me. I am easy on myself and hard on others. Help me fill their gaps with the way I want them to fill mine for me. Amen.