Believing the Best
May 28, 2025
And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. Philippians 4:8 NLT
Cynicism: An inclination to believe that people are motivated purely by self-interest. Skepticism.
Suspicion: Cautious distrust and uneasiness. A feeling that something unproven is likely or true.
You have felt both of those before, haven’t you? I have – many times. You may feel it about politicians, teachers, pastors, salespeople, and neighbors. You can even feel it where it is most devastating – in your home, your marriage. While we do have to use wisdom and not swallow everything just because someone says something, cynicism and suspicion never improve a relationship or your state of mind. Particularly in your personal relationships these two responses are deadly. I have a young friend who used to wear a shirt that said, “I have the gift of sarcasm. Just ask my wife.” I was chatting with a wise man who didn’t know my friend, and he saw the shirt and quietly said, “She won’t be a happy wife for long.”
That’s true of cynicism and suspicion too. They kill healthy relationships. So, what does it mean to move away from those kinds of thoughts and fix our thoughts on what is best? What does it mean to believe the best? Believing the best is choosing to see the actions and motivations of another as neutral or positive. It is to slow down and not make an immediate, emotion-based judgment. Believing the best means acting rather than reacting, giving the other person the benefit of the doubt. It means we deliberately decide to give the best possible interpretation to the other’s actions and choices.
Believing the best is difficult to do because we have to reign in our pride and defensiveness. Pride takes everything as a personal attack or sin against us. When another’s actions challenge what we desire or think is best, we appoint ourselves judge of their motives and character. Pride also makes me afraid to trust the good because what if my initial feeling is right? What if they truly don’t deserve my trust? However, believing the best instead fills that gap with a humble assessment. “I don’t know the whole story. They may be doing the best they can. What are some other possible explanations? How might God be working? Even if I am wrong, God has loved me more than I deserve. I can continue to love like Him and extend grace.” This is the kind of love Jesus said is irresistible. This kind of love provides the absolute best chance for your relationship.
- Jesus, help me take off my fillers of pride, cynicism, and suspicion, and fill the gap with grace, as You have for me. I need You to help me. Amen.