What You Can and Can’t Know

August 12, 2024

This past week my world was shaken. I lived through a few surreal days because of an event I won’t forget. I was working on a leadership event with John Ruhlin and finalized it Saturday with him. He was jacked and so was I about the opportunity to encourage and equip people to create a culture of generosity. I was thrilled and honored to be able to work with him and was thankful for his willingness to help us get support for some of our Leader’s Edge initiatives. John is the founder of Giftology, a prominent author and speaker, a tremendous leader, dedicated family man, and man of God.

I was texting out the info, a “save the date” for the conference. In the midst of my excitement, I got a text from a friend that he had heard that John passed away the day before. In shock and disbelief, I thought to myself, “This can’t be accurate!” I searched the Internet and all the places that could possibly confirm. I was praying that somehow this was not true. This couldn’t happen. John was the best of the best of human beings, he loved his family, his God. He is too young – only 44. He has four young children and a wife. He had dreams, plans, a bright future, his business was soaring. I was just texting him. There’s no way this could be true.

Then, the next day my worst fear was confirmed. After a day of waiting, I got an email from his company, regretfully informing me that John had suddenly left us as a result of a massive heart attack while vacationing with his family. I needed to know he would not be fulfilling his commitment to speak.

My heart sank. I felt sick and in shock. I saw the details in front of me, but I couldn’t believe it was true.

My heart went out to his wife Lindsey and their four daughters. Oh, the pain, hurt, questions –the agony they must be experiencing.

Then all the people that John invested in and gave his life to – his employees and the thousands who grew from his teaching. The sense of loss is brutal.

Scriptures started to flood my mind.

You do not know what will happen tomorrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapor that appears for a little time and then vanishes away. James 4:14 NKJV

Teach us to number our days, that we might gain a heart of wisdom. Psalm 90:12 NIV

Then I recalled a sign that hung on the wall at our house when I was growing up: “Only one life will soon be past; only what’s done for Christ will last.”

This experience will stay with me for a long time – likely the rest of my life – and it should. It is sobering. It causes me to think beyond today and this life. As I have said many times, no one really knows how old they are. If we are 60, going to live to 95, we are still young. If we are 45, going to die at 50, we are old. We MUST develop hearts of wisdom.

How do you do that? You major on the majors, not the minors. You focus on relationships, not accomplishments. You focus on the eternal, not the temporal.

This has caused me once again to reflect and evaluate what I am living for and to what and for I am giving my life. Are my priorities in light of all that is wise? As Dad repeated many times, “Live each day as if it were your last because one day it will be.”

I don’t understand all of this. Why this happened, I do not know. Why John? Why now? Why not me? I had a near-death experience when I had young children, yet here I am. I can’t know why from my vantage point today. That is way above my pay grade.

What I do know is that life is not fair, but God is good. One day it will all be understood.