I will teach all your children, and they will enjoy great peace. Isaiah 54:13 NLT
This verse from Isaiah is a promise that many parents have found and prayed over their children: “God, please teach my children your ways and your heart, and may their lives be full of peace.” God wants to do that, but His plan is that we partner with Him in it. He tells us to “bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord.” Our personal relationship and growth with God are essential for our children to have the life of great peace.
The positive command is that as parents we are to be responsible for the total maturity of our children, encompassing their spiritual, moral, physical, and emotional development. Three elements are core to accomplishing this. It’s not our training, gifts, or resources that matter most. At the end of the day, what matters most is that we as parents bring love, limits, and latitude to our kids.
Love means offering our nurturing and support. Love fosters authentic relationships and security. “Since you can be anything, be kind,” says wisdom. Love is kind. Kind looks, kind actions, kind words, and the spirit of Jesus-like behavior toward our children will bind our children to us with cords that will not be easily broken. Kindness communicates loving respect, even in moments of disagreement. Leading with love is always more effective than with force or coercion and is God’s way with us.
Limits means laying down boundaries that say, “No, don’t do this because it’s not good for you.” Limits are also in the form of discipline and instruction. Discipline is teaching through example, consistent actions and consequences, clear instructions in an atmosphere of love. Setting limits for children is essential for their future. Setting and keeping boundaries with love communicates love, commitment, and deep respect. Boundaries are for YOU to help you remain the person you must be. Communicating values and equipping children is a lengthy process, so keep encouraging and be encouraged. Limits should match the child’s maturity level and vary from child to child. Parents who try to treat each one exactly alike are likely to be unjust to one or the other. Not everything needs to be an issue. Distinguish between mountains and molehills.
😊 Choose private correction over public. Never discipline and enforce limits without love.
Latitude means parenting with a goal of autonomy. According to age and maturity, appropriately allow children to make their own choices and accept responsibility for them. Occasionally you will need to negotiate and compromise on rules. They won’t automatically become truly responsible adults at the age of 18 or 21. You have to work with God to help them grow into it, starting now.
- God, give me wisdom in love, limits, and latitude to partner with You for my children.