Draw near to God and he will draw near to you. James 4:8 NKJV
There are so many songs about feelings, and no wonder. Feelings are huge. Our emotions are gifts from God. The recent movie Inside Out 2 was supposedly for children, but adults openly wept during the showings. It so clearly portrayed the emotions in their lives that burst in without a welcome, and some fully embraced and enjoyed. But mature people understand that emotions can’t be in the pilot’s seat of our flight. Tragedy is ahead if we allow them to take charge of us instead of us controlling them.
When you are hurt, allow yourself to feel. Jesus wasn’t a stoic. He cried, He loved, He was rejected, He felt compassion. He knows the full range of our emotions and can help us not to sin in them, as He did not.
When you are hurt, don’t stuff it. Don’t pretend. You’re allowed to cry, feel sad, be angry. It’s okay to feel. Share with God often, openly, and honestly. He gets you and cares. If you let Him, He will help you get a helpful perspective instead of being stuck in pain.
When you are hurt, be careful how you share. Only share with one or two trusted friends, and only with solid believers. People who are not close to Jesus can be driven away by hearing your hurt. In your pain you can cause damage that will not easily be healed. Don’t drag anyone’s name through the mud. Stay off social media. When Jesus followers complain, whine, and share conflict on social media, we drag HIS name into the mud. We make ourselves look immature and unstable. Certainly, don’t talk about your hurt with or in the presence of your children. They will be affected by their take on what you said for a lifetime. You may need to share with a Christian counselor. (Sexual abuse/criminal acts need professional help.)
When you are hurt, spend much time in helpful REFLECTION. Don’t replay what happened over and over. Instead, ask God to help you REALIZE anything you might have done that exacerbated the situation or hurt others as well. If He points it out, own it. Proverbs 18:17 says that a person’s story always sounds right until someone else tells their side. RETHINK it. What might God want to teach you through this experience? Is there anything you could have done differently? How will you handle things next time? – because hurt is a constant in life.
REMEMBER, God’s path to healing always goes through forgiveness and choosing to love like Jesus. RELEASE it. God will help you get to a place where you can let it go, even if the other people don’t. REENGAGE. God’s way is always connection and community. You need this and you can do this. Draw near to God. You take one step, and He will take two or three.
- The path through hurt to healing isn’t generally straight up and to the right, but it is certain, and you won’t be alone. Start walking.