Earnestly pursue love… 1 Corinthians 14:1 BSB
Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. 1 Corinthians 13:7 NLT
Pursuing is an act of vulnerability. It is intentionally choosing to go after something or someone that isn’t naturally coming to you. You want to catch it.
Persevering is an act of maturity and courage, continuing on the chosen course when the path is difficult, and success is not guaranteed.
In the tricky, challenging arena of relationships, pursuing and persevering are vital. It definitely requires vulnerability and humility to pursue a love relationship that is not easy, one where you aren’t at all certain you’ll catch what you desire so much. It is recognizing that love is very much worth pursuing and to realize that we can never take it for granted. Pursuit is a lifelong mutual commitment to the best relationship. To pursue without resentment, without feeling pursuit is a chore, doing it from the heart, is a most rewarding challenge. The chances are good the relationship will succeed with this effort, and if not, the satisfaction and self-respect from doing the right thing, giving your all, giving God a chance to work, is still worth it.
Persevering is refusing to easily give up. It’s not unusual for someone to tell me they have given the other person three months or something similar to change, and it “hasn’t worked,” so they are done. Persevering is keeping on when there may be no end in sight. Honestly, for every marriage that succeeds, perseverance is key. We keep on doing all the right things and never quit because we have “put in our time” or “done our share.” When both partners pursue and persevere, a bad outcome is almost impossible.
What does this look like? Without manipulation or bullying or trying to remake the other person, persevering pursuit holds out patient hope that love will be restored and continue. It is willing to keep fanning a flickering flame of love. Soren Kierkegaard, the Danish philosopher, said it is not true that it takes two to keep love alive. He said as long as one is still committed to love, there remains a possibility that a break is not permanent. He called a break in relationship a hyphen, and it can be a hyphen of hurt or hope. A hyphen means there is more to come. Pursuing perseverance votes for hope! It doesn’t mean we close our eyes or deny the past or problems, it just means we still believe and are committed to hold on to hope, not hurt. Like the prodigal son’s father, pursuing pursuit stays open to future conversation and is ready whenever the silence is broken and someone heads for “home.”
- God understands pursuit and perseverance. It’s the way He loves us. Ask Him for help. He can give you wisdom and strength.