Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7 NLT
Control issues stem from a desire to manage outcomes and exert influence over situations and people, rather than trusting in God's plan and sovereignty. Here’s the thing: We don’t usually realize how controlling we are until our power slips, and we find ourselves unable to control a situation we actually thought was under control. When we depend on people (family members and others) to act in predictable ways, everything working in certain preferred ways, God answering prayers in the normal predictable way of providing, needing to have life work as I expect, an unexpected change will cause my security control issue to come out of hiding and become obvious. I become obsessed with managing everyone and everything back to my happy place.
Do you tend to start trying to control when you should be trusting God? I can go that way easily if I am not alert. Controlling can be a coping mechanism from past painful experiences, but in all of it, God invites me to trust Him for my security. Other times my tendency to control can come from the abilities and gifts God has given me. I know how to handle something, I know how to do it well, and I do like to serve, so I can jump right in and do it my own way instead of looking to God for His wisdom and management. Then I am disappointed when I don’t get the results that only God can give.
Control can sneak in so subtly that it slowly puts distance in my relationship with God and the people in my life. In relationships with people – friendships, marriage, parenting – control holds too tightly to the ideal picture of what we think it should look like, and we end up heartbroken and grieving because the perfect dream hasn’t materialized. No matter how much we love another person, every single wonderful person is going to disappoint us sometime, and even much more frequently when we are trying to control the relationship. We need to accept each person as a person accountable to God and then let Hm be in charge of that person and me. Giving up control and trusting God with the results is such a good trade. It lets everyone off the hook. I quit looking to myself and to others for the satisfaction and results only God can supply, chief among them being my security.
- My Father, I want to trust You more than I want to control anyone and anything in my life. You know the areas where I struggle with surrender and try to take the wheel. Thank You that You will patiently take me from where I am to where You know I need to be when I trust You. Help me today and speak directly to me when I look elsewhere for security.