Complaining and blaming mark our world – so much that it is certain to be a constant from some direction every day. In a similar day, Paul wrote to his friends, “Do everything without complaining and arguing, so that no one can criticize you. Live clean, innocent lives as children of God, shining like bright lights in a world full of crooked and perverse people” (Philippians 2:14-15 NLT).
Paul understood that Jesus promised in this world we would have trouble. We all endure suffering on this earth – some more than others. As Christians we are not promised a life free of suffering. Jesus Himself suffered. Suffering is a normal part of life. Yet we have a hard time suffering well because we think secretly, perhaps even subconsciously, that we should be exempt.
But in our rationally thinking moments we all agree that life is not fair – right? Life can be hard, disappointing, and discouraging, and this is experienced by everyone, not just a few. Since all of this is true, what should my mindset, attitude, and approach be?
I can begin by humbly asking, “What can this moment teach me? What can I learn?” This is a new mindset – a change in perspective. Every situation, every encounter has the potential to teach me some powerful truth. If I am willing, I can learn lessons that will serve me well.
Sometimes our own suffering so dominates our mind and perspective that we stop looking out with compassion toward others. Our suffering can be so pervasive that it is all we can see. But if we choose, our own suffering can make us more empathetic and compassionate. God wants to use it to develop us and make us more like Jesus.
Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope. Romans 5:3-4 NIV
You can’t escape suffering, but you get to decide how to face it. “Good suffering” means trusting God and offering your pain to Him as an act of love and as penance for your sins and the sins of others. “Bad suffering” means letting your pain destroy your faith and hope in God and capitulate to despair.
It's okay to say "this is hard" and "this hurts,” especially to God in prayer. Too often we think that suffering well means minimizing our suffering or ignoring it. It doesn’t. It means facing it with hope and resilience. We can grow and become even stronger. We can show our children through our hard times that trusting God in all things is the way to live with hope.
The choice is yours: Suffering is inevitable. It’s a certain fact. Will you choose to use your inevitable suffering to develop you and not diminish or destroy you?
James, the brother of Jesus, watched Jesus suffer and even die. This was before James recognized Jesus as Lord. He did not follow Him then. But when James saw Jesus resurrected, alive, and powerful even over death, everything changed. He put his faith in Jesus as his King and was so committed that he became the leader of the church in Jerusalem and eventually died as the first disciple to be martyred. But he lived and died with joy.
He still speaks and calls us to handle hard times by working with God for our good and blessing. We become more than we can imagine as we do. It’s the way to maturity and fulfillment.
Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. James 1:2-4 NIV