America is addicted to sex scandals. We can pretend to be shocked, but we eat up everything we read and hear about them. The sports world has a new scandal.
The Patriots football coach-newscaster controversy of Mike Vrabel and Dianna Russini combines fame, power, marriage, secrecy, media, sports, reputation, and betrayal. The fact that the affair is seen as scandalous and shocking proves that we truly do know there is a real standard for right and wrong. Yet, we “tsk! tsk!” and condemn the relationship while we read everything about it we can find. We say how sad and sinful it is all while we read about it and feed emotional issues of our own. We think it’s harmless. But it’s not. Sexual sin starts small, but it rots our souls.
“Sexual sin is massive because it promises intimacy without covenant, pleasure without holiness, secrecy without consequence, and fire without burns,” is a well-known quote shared on C-Suite LinkedIn, specifically talking about this after the Vrabel/Russini story broke. They tried to play the story down and deny it at first, but the truth came out. It always does. The Bible says, “Be sure your sin will find you out,” and “The wages of sin is death.” Now the world knows this is a six-year-old relationship. Their sin found them out and death is all around. Reputations, trust, marriages, integrity, respect – all dead. Vrabel was known for holding his teams to a high standard that he claimed to live.
This should be humbling and sobering for all of us. I am human. I can fail and fall. I can fool myself into thinking I won’t get caught up, fail God, myself, and my family, and everyone who has faith in me.
Proverbs 4:23 says, “Guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.”
The secular media finds great fault with Vrabel’s “lack of repentance,” as the church would call it, as he talks rather defensively and ambiguously about “taking accountability” and determining to give his family the best version of himself. While he has used the language accountability under pressure and after repeated denials and changed stories, most remain skeptical and say there is nothing about the statements that indicate humility or deep personal remorse. It’s merely an attempt to manage personal fallout from a high-profile affair.
Here’s what I want to take away from yet another scandal that has wounded spouses, children, family, friends, and changed lives forever. I want to remember this quote: “Sexual sin is massive because it promises intimacy without covenant, pleasure without holiness, secrecy without consequence, and fire without burns.”
It means that sexual sin promises what it can never deliver:
- Intimacy without Covenant: You cannot experience the emotional and physical closeness of sex (as God designed for marriage) without the long-term commitment, trust, and vows that constitute a covenant relationship.
- Pleasure without Holiness: While the sexual act can provide physical gratification, when it lacks purity it negates the holy nature of the relationship intended by God. It was intended to lift us and make us better.
- Secrecy without Consequence: It is a false and foolish belief that hidden sexual sins (such as pornography, adultery, or sex outside of marriage) can remain private forever. Proverbs 6:32 suggests that such actions inevitably lead to destruction.
- Fire without Burns: Proverbs 6:27 says, "Can a man scoop fire into his lap without his clothes catching fire?" It is an impossible expectation that one can engage in destructive behavior without experiencing pain, damage, or long-term consequences.
Nothing can destroy your life faster than sexual sin. And it starts small. It starts in the mind. And it always convinces you that no one will find out. They always will. First and most importantly, God knows.
And sexual sin brings death: death of integrity, self-respect, marriages, families, friendships, reputation, and careers.
The juice is never worth the squeeze.
Be sure your sin will find you out. Numbers 32:23
The wages of sin is death. Romans 6:23