They (the disciples) told him, “We have seen the Lord!” But he replied, “I won’t believe it unless I see the nail wounds in his hands, put my fingers into them, and place my hand into the wound in his side.” Eight days later the disciples were together again, and this time Thomas was with them. The doors were locked; but suddenly, as before, Jesus was standing among them. “Peace be with you,” he said. Then he said to Thomas, “Put your finger here, and look at my hands. Put your hand into the wound in my side. Don’t be faithless any longer. Believe!” John 20:25-27 NLT
Thomas’s words were shockingly bold and brash. But Jesus always considers our context. He understands us fully, and knew Thomas had “left all to follow Him.” I can imagine the devastation Thomas felt when he saw Jesus – the One in whom he had placed his hope – not even fight back when He was taken away to be crucified. I can understand how Thomas would not have been willing to get his hopes up to be dashed again. Believing felt impossible.
Jesus really got Thomas, and He gets us when we are hurt and disillusioned. Jesus is really gentle with doubters who love Him. He knows we want to believe. Leanna Crawford captured it perfectly in her song “Honest.” If your heart hurts now from disappointment or not until later, this is a “Thomas song,” and it helps my heart. I can feel Jesus’ love for me when things are different than I hoped. He loves me and my honesty, and it helps me.
I try to pray, But the words aren't coming out the way they used to.
Did I lose my faith? God, do I still trust You?
I try to worship, but when I lift my hands it all just feels so empty.
Is it the heavy of the world? Or is it just me?
Though I've sung a thousand times “You're perfect and You'll never leave my side.”
Can I be honest? I just wanna know that You still got this.
Oh, I've heard stories of You showing up when it was least expected.
Every time, You prove Your timing is always perfect and the wait was worth it.
And again and again and again I see Your power coming through
You bring life to what is dead! No, there's nothing You can't do.
I believe You did it then, so won't You do it now?
Can I be honest? I just wanna know that You still got this.
When all I'm holding onto is a promise. God, You promised that You'll never leave me.
When I'm scared of the dark, You're right there with me.
Your kindness never fails, it's always reaching after me.
But right now, God, all I need Is Your breath when I can't breathe, Your eyes when I can't see,
An anchor as the waves crash all around.
Be my heart when I can't feel, and show me something real.
Just one taste of heaven here and now. Can I be honest?
I just wanna know that You still got this.
- Jesus will always be gentle with your doubts. Be honest. He will meet you there.